Christopher Martinez

Freshman Composition

Professor Rogal

7 February 2020 

Personal Narrative: Morenito but not Bonito

As a child you never really notice you’re different until you face indifference, and once you grow older, the curtain of innocence is pulled down and you see the sad reality. Being born from Dominican parents and growing up in the Dominican neighborhood, I faced this unfortunate reality. Having a darker complexion, a bilingual language,  unique eyebrows amongst other features brought me many conflicts in my neighborhood, my education, and my jobs.

The fall of 2012, my first day of middle school in the former shell of the 34th Precinct. An array of diverse and colorful preteens fill the small building. As I make it to my first class on the 4th floor, I quickly notice that 98% of the population at the school was Dominican. There was one Haitian in my class and he quickly became the center of taunting. Due to his very dark almost ebony complexion, the other Dominican kids would push him around and call him ugly. Eventually as time progressed I made it to the 7th grade, at the age of 13 I had already been bullied for having a unibrow and for my big nose. One day in my last class of the day, a half puerto-rican half dominican girl shouts out that I needed to use Sammy Sosa lightening cream and to have my eyebrows done. And this was when I realized how racist Dominicans can be and how it is not only them, it’s Puerto Ricans, Cubans, and the Latino community itself and something that is deep rooted in society today. After taking my US History and Spanish classes in middle school I learned that this is due to centuries of colonialism, discrimination and ignorance. 

Entering the doors of Art and Design High School was no different, if not worse. At the age of 15, I felt like all the noses of society were sniffing me out, judging me from each and every angle. The art environment was much different and much more diverse, but the judgements were no different. As I make my way into the lunchroom and introduce myself to these new faces, my spanish comes out and the small crowd in front of me looks at me baffled like at the end of a Broadway play. This African-Amercian kid asks me “Oh my god bro, how’d you learn Spanish?”, and I respond a bit confused, “I’m Dominican, I speak Spanish.” He looks at me as if I were crazy and says, “No way you’re Dominican, no way.” He continuously repeats this and then goes around asking others, “Does he look Dominican?” Some people respond with a nod and others shook their head. He looks at this Dominican girl close to me (who’s much lighter in complexion) and then looks at me, confused. Then this fair skinned ecuadorian says to me, “You don’t look Dominican.” He then proceeds to squints his eyes and says,”Oh yeah you do..” This then leads me to question my own identity. Most of the Dominicans I’ve seen in Dominican Republic resemble how I look, resemble my complexion, and many sources can prove that. The African ancestry infused, along with colonialism and racial mixes, Dominicans come in all colors. At age 15 I was able to use my mature way of thinking and dissect the stereotype of how a Dominican is supposed to look and the ignorance of modern society. I still faced many insecurities due to this, many times feeling “black”, or getting told by my grandmother that I need to pinch my nose to make my nose smaller. As I interviewed googled more and more through my desktop, I quickly found out the past of my country and how we are similar but so diverse are a result of Conquistadors, African Slavery and the Taino native people already on the island. Much of this Taino population died due to disease because of the Spanish exposure. 

`When I applied to my first job unrelated to the art industry at a retail store, I was once again exposed to a crowd of judgement. This time these people looked at me and amazement and desire to inquire about me. With comments from one coworker saying “Oh, I didn’t know you spoke Spanish, then they’d laughed and say, I thought you were black.” I’d laugh and continue working paying it no mind. On a workday I was pressed by one of my managers Tracey, a dark skinned African American woman. She asked me “You Español? , speak some Spanish for me. I responded “Klk, dime que tu quiere? Which means “What’s up? What do you want?” Her eyes lit up and her face filled with amazement. She then goes to say “Ohhhhh ok,” smiles and I go back to work. This once again reminded me of the ignorance we have in society today and how we as people living together in society need to educate ourselves. And made me question my identity but then cover myself in my confidence and quickly remember who I am. 

The negativity I received for being a bit darker in middle school, the judgment put against me for my unique physique, and the questions were thrown at me at work all made me value myself more. I dodged anything that tries to hinder who I am and I look in between the lines. I try to educate and insight when given the opportunity to. And after so many questions about my own identity I took an Ancestry DNA test and found a very diverse spectrum. From Nigeria, Mali, Ghana, Indigenous Mexico, Indigenous Haiti & Dominican Republic, Armenia, Portugal, Spain, England, Turkey, Italy, and few more. And this goes to show everyone has a history and we are all beautiful and diverse. It is our duty to educate ourselves about it.